OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
