Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
