Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
