i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
