apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
