I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
