I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
