I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
