I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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