The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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