even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
