i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Never underestimate the power of titties
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
