uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
