Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Did I show you my penis last night?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
