When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
