Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
