Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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