....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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