Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will be naked everywhere
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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