Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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