I didn't shave. On purpose
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
