she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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