I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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