North Korea, Best Korea!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
