sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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