Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
