like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
