It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
