But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
