I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
