Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
