Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize