Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
