rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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