She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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