My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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