remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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