I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I want is dick and wine.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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