a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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