areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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