Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
