Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
