I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
