I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i barfeds in our rink
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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