Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
