I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
