Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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