somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
