oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
