just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
