i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this will be a night to untag.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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