I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
