Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
