Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
