In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
