there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Define "chronic" masturbator.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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