yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
