90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
