You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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