I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
