We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
