I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
