yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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