my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
