I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
