So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
