its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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