He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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