I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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