is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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