i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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