When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
