There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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